Christmas Jokes for Kids: 60 Clean Jokes for the Holidays

The best Christmas jokes for kids are short, clean puns about Santa, reindeer, elves, Christmas trees and presents, with a punchline a child can repeat at the dinner table or tuck into a cracker. Here are 60 Christmas jokes with answers, grouped by theme, plus knock-knock jokes, one-liners and a harder set for kids aged 9 to 11. Most are traditional jokes passed from child to child for generations; the rest were written for this page.

Why kids love Christmas jokes

December is full of waiting: for the tree, for visitors, for the big morning. Jokes fill that waiting with something to do and someone to laugh with. A child who knows three good Santa jokes has a ready-made way to join the conversation when grandparents visit, which matters to quieter kids in a busy house.

Christmas words are also perfect for puns. "Presents" sounds like "presence," "elf" hides in "elevator," "spruce" means both a tree and to tidy up. Children around 7 and 8 are just learning to hear these double meanings, so a Christmas joke is also a small vocabulary lesson that nobody notices.

Santa jokes

1. Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him.
2. What do you call a kid who's scared of Santa? Claus-trophobic.
3. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he visits? He keeps a log.
4. What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
5. Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.
6. Where does Santa go swimming? The North Pool.
7. Why did Santa get a ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow-parking zone.
8. How do you know when Santa is in the room? You can sense his presents.

Reindeer jokes

1. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.
2. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No eye-deer.
3. What game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
4. Why do reindeer wear fur coats? They'd look silly in sweaters.
5. What do reindeer say before telling a joke? "This one will sleigh you!"
6. What did Mrs. Claus say when she looked out the window? "Looks like rain, dear."

Elf jokes

1. What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
2. What do elves do after school? Their gnome-work.
3. Why are elves such good listeners? They're all ears.
4. How does an elf get to the top floor? In the elf-evator.
5. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Anything you like. He can't hear you.
6. What do you call an elf with lots of money? Welfy.

Christmas tree and decoration jokes

1. Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? It kept dropping its needles.
2. What did one Christmas tree say to the other? "Lighten up!"
3. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? "Quit hanging around!"
4. How do Christmas trees get ready for a party? They spruce themselves up.
5. What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy? Orna-mints.
6. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
7. Why do Christmas lights get along so well? They're all connected.

Presents, cookies and carol jokes

1. What did the wrapping paper say to the gift? "Don't worry, I've got you covered."
2. What does a gingerbread man put on his bed? Cookie sheets.
3. What is every parent's favorite Christmas carol? "Silent Night."
4. Which carol do sheep love most? "Fleece Navidad."
5. What do sheep say to each other in December? "Season's bleatings!"
6. What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells.
7. Why did Maya put a ruler under the tree? She wanted to see how long it was until Christmas.

Christmas knock-knock jokes

1. Knock, knock. Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut open your presents until Christmas!
3. Knock, knock. Who's there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap this present, please!
4. Knock, knock. Who's there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here at last!
5. Knock, knock. Who's there? Yule. Yule who? Yule never guess, so just open the door!
6. Knock, knock. Who's there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!
7. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ho-ho. Ho-ho who? Your Santa impression needs some work.

Christmas one-liners

1. Our Christmas tree is so tall, the star at the top has its own weather report.
2. My little brother asked for a drum. Mom calls it the gift that keeps on banging.
3. Dad tried to wrap a bicycle. Now it's a very lumpy rectangle.
4. Grandma's fruitcake is so heavy, Santa uses it as an anchor for the sleigh.
5. Our cat thinks the Christmas tree is a very expensive climbing frame.
6. The gingerbread house had a lovely view, but the walls kept getting eaten.
7. An Advent calendar is the only calendar kids can't wait to open every morning.

Harder Christmas jokes for kids 9 to 11

These need a second think or a word older kids have just learned. Expect them to explain the joke to you afterward.

1. What kind of money do reindeer use? Bucks.
2. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
3. Why was the little elf feeling down? He had low elf-esteem.
4. What do you call Santa when he's run out of money? Saint Nickel-less.
5. What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum. You just can't beat it.
6. Why was the cookie so sad? Its mother had been a wafer too long.
7. What did Adam say on December 24? "It's Christmas, Eve!"
8. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered.
9. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.
10. What do you call Santa's helpers in grammar class? Subordinate Clauses.
11. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.
12. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? "Stick with me and we'll go places."

Christmas jokes by age

Five ways to use Christmas jokes this December

1. A joke a day in the Advent calendar. Fold a small paper with one joke into each day's pocket or box, or hang them from a paper chain. Twenty-four jokes from the list above will cover December 1 to 24.
2. Dinner-table joke round. Everyone, from the youngest to the oldest, tells one joke before dessert. Little ones can repeat a knock-knock joke a parent whispered to them.
3. Homemade crackers or gift tags. Write the question on the outside of a gift tag and the answer inside.
4. Lunch-box notes. One joke per school day in the last week before winter break.
5. Car-ride challenge. Take turns inventing new Christmas puns: pick a word like snow, gift or star and look for a word hiding inside or sounding like it.

After the jokes: a calm Christmas bedtime

December evenings are exciting, and laughter right before lights-out can make it harder to settle. Put jokes earlier in the evening, at dinner or bath time, and keep the last part of the night for something slow and familiar, like a story. Our guide to winding down before bed explains why a steady order of steps helps on busy nights.

Nori Tales writes a personalized 7-chapter book every week starring your child by name and the heroes they choose. The book is meant to be read one chapter a night, in text, illustrated or audio format, so a week in December can become a small countdown of its own. Read why a book a week, a chapter a night works well for families, see the program for 7 and 8 year olds, or start with the free first chapter of Cloud Friends, about two cheerful clouds who find a way never to lose each other in the big sky.

Frequently asked questions

What are some funny Christmas jokes for kids?

Some of the funniest for kids are "What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells" and "What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No eye-deer." They are short, a little silly, and easy to repeat.

What are good Christmas one-liners for kids?

Try "Dad tried to wrap a bicycle; now it's a very lumpy rectangle" or "Grandma's fruitcake is so heavy, Santa uses it as an anchor." One-liners work well in cards and lunch boxes because they don't need a second person.

What is a good Christmas knock-knock joke?

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!" is the easiest for young children. "Doughnut who? Doughnut open your presents until Christmas!" is a favorite with kids who are counting the days.

What Christmas jokes are good for 10 and 11 year olds?

Older kids like jokes with a double meaning, such as "Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered" or "What kind of money do reindeer use? Bucks." The harder set above is written for ages 9 to 11.

Are there printable Christmas jokes for kids?

You can copy any joke on this page onto cards, gift tags or Advent calendar notes, with the answer on the back. Children often enjoy writing and decorating the cards themselves, which turns the jokes into a small craft.

A story to end the day

When the laughing is done and the lights are low, read chapter 1 of Cloud Friends free, no account needed, then create a free account to get a weekly personalized book with your child's name.